As an actor, who at the moment is currently waiting to hear the out come of recent auditions, aside handling the consistent amount of hurdles that life puts in your way, you tend to lose sight of other things that make you who you are in life. Other things that have you lose track of what inspires you in the first place. What ignites your creativity, what inspires the words that form a line in a poem, and what inspires you to put a certain amount of emotion into the portrayal of a certain role. Here I am talking about life experiences. We all can lose our way from who we really are because of the different things that we experience in life, but at the end of the day (and I hate that saying) it depends how we handle it.
It's been over a year since I became single and that I have gathered dust on the shelf of singledom, and despite trailing a dating site and going on as many dates as Henry VIII had wives, I found that the more I was doing this the more I was writing myself off romantically. Don't get me wrong, I met some weird and wonderful ladies, more the weird than the wonderful, but at the end of it all, I think I lost who I was, and what I wanted in life as well as a successful career, a loving family, and a handful of great friends. I had in fact written myself off romantically, and in all honesty thought that it had died along with the last relationship I had.
But then, the morning of the 29th April 2011, changed things, it made me think, it made me feel, and it of course made me a little sentimental, and realise what the other thing I was missing was and want out of life . Love and romance. Who would have thought that the marriage of the future King of England would have made me realise that what I really want, and have always wanted but with the right person, was still there, deep down inside of me.
From the second I saw the live coverage of Prince William & Kate Middleton's wedding, I was pulled in to what some people would call a fairytale, but it wasn't, it was real. This was the first Royal Wedding of its kind for 25 years. But this time I was watching a Royal Wedding through the eyes of an adult. Twenty Five years ago, I was ten, and without a care in the world, and oh how things have changed Ha!. Back then it would have had the fairytale quality of the previous two Royal Weddings I experienced through black Joe 90 style specs in the 1980's. But nothing like the sense of real love that I was witnessing right now. Between a man and a woman, the Prince William and the now Princess Kate.
I was watching our future Queen of England being driven to Westminster Abbey, I saw her beauty glow as she stepped out of the car and walked down the aisle with her father at her side and her sister as Chief Bridesmaid trailing behind her.
I saw how Prince William's eyes met Kate's behind the bridal Vail, I saw how they both smiled with each other and how he leaned in and told her how beautiful she looked. And Kate did.
Kate Middleton looked perfection. It wasn't until in retrospect, looking at more coverage, of the exchanging of vows, and how the carriage took them off to the palace, which led to the famous kiss on the balcony at Buckingham Palace, that it hit me. Here we have a couple who are without doubt genuinely and deeply in love with each other. I have never really seen love like this before. Let alone have I lived it or breathed it. And it is from this I wish William & Kate every happiness, as Husband & Wife, Prince & Princess and future King & Queen.
And then it hit me again. Here I am, a guy in his mid thirties, who has never really been lucky in love but still wants it, still wants to give it, and wants to live and experience this with his Princess, whoever she maybe. And I am under 100% believability that I will meet her, but hey, that's me, the dreamer.
I'm just hoping that one day my dream becomes reality.
P x
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